The Deception of Match.com

Online dating sites have become quite popular over the past ten years.  I’ve tried Match.com primarily, and that is all I will comment on here.

There is a bit of deception in the way Match.com is designed, and it appears to be deliberate.  I’m surprised there hasn’t been a reaction by the user community or consumer protection organizations.

Although Match.com may rightfully claim to have millions of members, how many are real members – with full use of the service.  One can log in and search through millions of “profiles”, many of which have photos.  If a membership is purchased, one can even send an email to his/her target of desire.  But, chances are the email doesn’t make it to its intended destination.

How can that be?  Well, only paying members can read and respond to emails sent to them through Match.com.  When viewing a profile, there is no indication of whether the individual is a paying member.  So, one may shoot cupid’s arrow at another Match.com user, but chances are it will miss.  According to this article, only one in twenty members of dating sites are paying members.  If that is true, on average one would have to send twenty emails just to have the possibility of a response.

Is this deliberate?  I can only hypothesis, but my guess is that it is.  It is a way for Match.com to attract members.  Specifically, it is a way for Match.com to turn non-paying members to paying members.

Does this cross the line?  I believe it does.

Are members aware of the difference between a non-paying membership and a paying membership?  The site explicitly describes the benefits of a paid membership.  It becomes obvious after joining anyway.  The site won’t let you send or read emails, until you pay to become a member.  There is no real deception here.

The deception is for paying members who attempt to contact others through the site.  There is no way to know if the member being written to will be able to receive the email and respond. Why write an email if there is little chance of a response.  So paying members may be wasting much of there time, all in the effort of having Match.com attract paying customers.  Some may call this a good business model. I call it deception.

Addressing this problem is quite simple.  When displaying profiles, Match.com shows whether the user has the capability to respond.  It would only be fair to its paying members.

First week with the iPhone 3G

I’ve had my iPhone 3G for a week now. I’ve avoided “smart phones”, instead opting for the traditional flip phone models. My main use of a cell phone has been for voice calls and an occasional text message. So, this posting may be from the viewpoint of a novice smart phone user.

My main motivation in purchasing an iPhone was to reduce the things I carry around with me. I typically carry my keys, wallet, cell phone, and iPod. With the cell phone and music player combined, I am lighter. on my feet. There was one additional need and that was an ability to browse the web. But I didn’t want to be a second class citizen on the web. I wanted to be able to view full web sites and have them look good. Mobile versions of sites were not appealing to me.

At this point, I can say that I am very satisfied with the iPhone. I’ve heard people talk about the “killer app” for mobile devices. I think the iPhone may be it, although I would call it the killer hardware platform.

As a phone it is better than I thought. I almost always use the speaker and had low expectations for the iPhone. Its speakerphone is better than expected. Sound quality is better than the last few cell phones I’ve had. My only wish is that the maximum speaker volume is not loud enough at times. One nifty feature about the phone is its ability to do other things while on a call. I’ve sent email and text messages while on a call.

The iPhone seems to work well as an iPod too. I have two wishes here. First, I’d like an iPhone 3G with more memory. With over 2000 songs and plenty of podcasts, I am nearly out of memory. Fortunately iTunes lets you select what can be downloaded into the phone. Second, I wish iTunes would do a better job of finding the album covers. There is at least one web site that does this, but it is time consuming.

The iPhone is excellent at browsing the web. I have purposely avoided smart phones because I wanted a real web experience. I did not wanted to be limited mobile versions of web sites. Safari provides as good an experience as one can have on a screen so small. The pinching actions allow you to zoom into portions of a web site and moving around is pretty easy. Having multiple browser windows open at once and switching between them is also well thought out.

Just before purchasing the iPhone 3G I had second thoughts based on reports of poor battery life. I believe the battery life is pretty good. Because the device is so capable, I use it a lot more and thus the battery drains more quickly. I probably use the iPhone for two plus hours a day through a combination of calls, text messaging, web surfing and iPod’ing. The battery has not run down on me and I think I could get at least 3 hours of usage from it. This is more than I could get out of my prior cell phones, which I used simply for calls. Sure, I want more battery life, but it is pretty darn good as is.

I would not use an iPhone for activities requiring a lot of typing. Typing on the iPhone or any small device is just to frustrating for me. Having said that, the iPhone is perfect for reading and keeping up to date. In a pinch, the ability to type large amounts of text is there. I think one of the old pen devices, used on the Palms, would make things a lot easier – at least for me.

There are some things that bug me about the phone:

- None of my old accessories work.
- A docking station should be included.
- More volume on the speakerphone.
- I have trouble typing.

Some things that I really like:

- The IMAP/POP3 client is really great.
- Text messaging interface is great. It shows entire conversations.
- Cro-Mag – this game is really fun and uses the accelerometer.

Overall, I think the iPhone is great. It does a great job at the three things I really need: cell phone with speaker, iPod, and web surfing.

Some hints in setting up a Windows 2003 Server

I’m a technology person, software engineer actually, for a small business. We ran Windows NT up until recently. The need to upgrade was based more on our old hardware. In any case, I thought I would share my experience in hopes of helping others in a similar situation.

The goal was to run Windows 2003 Server on our LAN to offer file sharing, printer sharing, and authentication (for logging in from any PC) for a small number of PCs in our office. Our LAN is behind a DSL router and a LinkSys router (see image below). The LinkSys router provides NAT, so all PCs connected to it share one IP address.

We also used Windows 2003’s DHCP and DNS and will explain why. Note that this server was not used to provide email (Exchange) or any web services. VPN access was provided, on a separate server, and that will be discussed.

I experimented with installing Windows 2003 Server several times. So I became familar with many options, although I did not try every thing possible. At first it didn’t seem very easy to set things up. But after I was successful, I think the installation is actually easier than the documentation and wizards indicate.

I started with the goal of moving our NT Domain to an Active Directory based domain. There was a new server for the new domain, so the old domain was kept running. Users were moved, one by one, to the new domain – after the new domain was setup.

Domain Controller

The first thing to note is that the Manage Your Server tool is quite useful. After installing Windows 2003 (and the service packs), you are greeted with a Manage Your Server application when you log in. Up to this point, Windows 2003 is running, but no services (called “roles”) have been installed. I installed everything from this tool. In some cases I would uninstall (remove a role) and then reinstall to try again. The tools also indicates when prerequiste services are needed and offers to install them.

NOTE: Manage Your Server provides an option to setup a server in typical fasion. I didn’t try this. It may work well, in which case the following description may be rendered less useful. I had a pretty good idea of what we needed and wanted to install just the required components.

The DNS Server should be the first thing installed. When trying to install some other services (like Active Directory) a notification that DNS is required appears. DNS is used to identify PCs on your LAN. With Windows NT, WINS performed some of this function (note there is a WINS server in Windows 2003, but DNS is really required). For a small organization DNS can be setup to provide name resolution for internal resources. For external resources (ex. microsoft.com) DNS defers to the ISP’s DNS. After installing DNS, the only thing really needed is to setup: the forwarders. These tell DNS where your ISP’s DNS servers are so that all external lookups can be performed there (see image).

Next, DHCP was installed. It is recommended to use Windows 2003’s DHCP instead of the router’s DHCP. I turned off the LinkSys router’s DHCP.

The install is pretty straight forward. But I couldn’t get client PCs to pickup some of the typical settings, such as default gateway (from the router) and WINS server. That is when I realized these are provided by the DHCP server. These items needed to be added to DHCP’s Server Options (see image).

After that, the clients worked. The network for each client was configured to work by obtaiining their address and DNS from DHCP.

Now when a client started up, it uses the Windows 2003 Server’s DHCP to get an IP address, default gateway (from the router), and IP address of our DNS server. NOTE: The server we are setting up requires a static IP address on the local LAN and that address is used for DNS and WINS servers.

Now Active Directory was installed then file sharing and print sharing. Some of those items require DNS, which was already installed. I also installed WINS in the end.

At this point I copied files over from the old domain server to the new, set up sharing and security on each user’s folder, and created new users in Active Directory. Then I changed the domain on each PC to the new domain.

VPN and RRAS

Finally, we wanted VPN access to our LAN. This is where most of the problems arose. At first, I didn’t want to dedicate an entire server to VPN, referred to as RRAS. So I installed it on the domain controller along with a second NIC, which is required. It never did work. The network requirements of a domain controller conflict with that of RRAS, and that is as technical as I will get.

Intead an old PC (866MHz) was used for the RRAS server. The second network card was installed in it. From that point on, the RRAS installation gets you close. The Manage You Server tools installed RRAS. But there were a couple of trickty things.

Basically, think of the RRAS server as another member of the internal LAN. It is a member of the domain, and must join the domain.

Also, how are the two network cards configured? The internal LAN connection needs a static IP on the internal LAN. Setup the network settings as you wou BUT, leave the default gateway blank. It turns out that only one default gateway can be allowed on a PC. The default gateway settiing from the external NIC will be used. The external connection needs to be setup with an external IP address (see network diagram above). The default gateway and DNS should be configured with the ISP’s values.

Now, external PCs can “dial” into the LAN. When conneted, via VPN, the client can only access resources on the remote LAN. They can not access the Internet. There is a workaround but it opens a potential security vulnerability. In the properties for the VPN connection, one can disable the “use default gateway” option. This is described elsewhere.

Initially, we could not access any resources on the remote LAN after the VPN connection was established. It turns out that the IP subnet for our internal LAN was often the same as remote users’ subnets. In other words, the remote LAN was using IP addresses like 192.168.1.x and so were remote users. RRAS requires different subnets. Since most home-based routers use 192.168.1.x as the default subnet, we decided to change the subnet used in the office. That meant changing the DHCP configuration only.

Winding down

All in all, the entire process of setting Windows 2003 Server with LAN capabilities for a small office is rather easy. The Manage Your Server tools does almost all the work and seems to provide good default settings. Hopefully the hints provided here make things easier for you, particularly in regards to VPN setup.

Other Useful Links:

How to setup a VPN Server